you made me feel like a million bucks

Updated: Aug 30, 2021



Wilhelm of the woods... stood at the hedge defensively with a small pale of rubies and emeralds behind her. She knew she didn't collect them all by herself, yet they were hers. And she didn't know what to do about that. How to honor them now. Such rare and special occasions that were only her own, earned by or with individuals who vanished into the trees. But next to the small pile of gems was a much larger, much heavier bucket of stones. Cold, damp, heavy stones that she had carried with her and collected alone. She protected those much more fiercely, so that when the kingdom came, the best of her and the worst of her is all they could see. The rest that's in-between... the real real marrow, all that was pure and true about her, it may be hers and only hers to keep...forever.


I took the neighbor's dogs for a walk. They are two very sturdy, strong dogs. I turned into a little cartoon girl, smiling stupidly at the horizon, holding loosely onto each leash... obliviously chatting with the girl next door. The girl who's apartment is exactly like mine but everything is flipped like a mirror image. The girl with a phantom baby daughter. The girl who got thinner as I finally started to put meat on my bones, and she was happy on days I was sad and I was strong on days she was weak. Both dogs took off suddenly, charging down the hill at a poor rabbit trying to find a hat. I was yanked along with them... without a choice. Through the alleyway, in-between buildings. In puddles and faint music from 3 different places. And that's where I went, and that's where I'll be, if ever you need me.


Strap in, Sonny.



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